It’s been a long time since I posted anything.  I’ve still been busy with a lot of retouching.  Also been scouting locations for a couple of upcoming weddings, had some headshot sessions, and got to cover Yellowman play as part of a benefit show at the Central Park Zoo.  I’ll be posting photos from all of that in the next month or two.

I had the chance to go to a poetry workshop one of my grad school profs runs.  I haven’t been going as much (haven’t even been writing much) over this past year because I’ve been so focused on photography and starting up the business.  And I must say, it feels really good to get back into writing.

I’ve also had the chance to get to know some of my photog peers.  Had some great discussions.  Lots of great ideas.

Thrown into the mix of these last few weeks…I’ve been preparing to see the Cremaster series at the IFC Center this coming Sunday.  I’ve only seen part 3 in the past, so this will be my first time seeing the other 4 parts.  I’m a bit anxious…it’s going to be a 7 hour marathon of Matthew Barney madness.

Also got the latest issue of Ninth Letter.  It’s my favorite literary publication.  Comes out of the University of Illinois in Urbana.

Oh, and re-watched Bladerunner, Dune, and The Thin Red Line.

All of these things have compounded and put me in a very contemplative mood.  I’ve been reflecting a lot on photography, poetry, and art in general.  Been thinking about time and space.  Death and life.  Heavy metal and hardcore.

I’ve been feeling it for some time now.  A sense of creeping emptiness.  A lulling apathy.  Just doing my thing, trying to survive.  A sense of something lost.  Something numb.

I realize now what it is.  The most important emotion for my creative process…it’s anger.  Not that I go around kicking little puppies and yelling at people.  It’s not an anger directed at people.  It’s a quiet, cold-burning anger that most people would never notice.  I think when people meet me, they get a sense that there’s a certain peacefulness in me.  And that’s true.  Because I’m very much at peace with my anger.

So, the anger is back, and it’s good.  This summer’s going to be interesting.  I’m going to spend a lot of time and money on personal projects…got some wild ideas in mind and I’m going to push really hard to make them happen.

Condensed lyrics from Underoath‘s song, “Emergency Broadcast: The End Is Near”:

At the end, of it all,
We will be sold for parts.
We will try to rebuild,
But we ate it all away.

All ambitions now run dry.
Someone stop this thing,
Turn it off.
In search of new life.
Nothing will be left to walk the Earth again.

Our hopes and dreams,
Will be swallowed alive.

We always said, it wouldn’t end up like this.

We will be the new ice age.
We will be the new plague.
Disguised as a colony.
We will wipe them all away.

Feast your eyes.
Or just rip ‘em out.
This is it for us.
It’s time to panic.

We always said, it wouldn’t end.
It wouldn’t end up, like this.
We are the cancer.
We are the virus.
Tell me it’s not too late.